A Guide to Leaving Treatment as Told by Teens

We just wrapped up the first round of our post-treatment support group for teen girls—and it truly blew us away.

No one understands how challenging it is to come back home after treatment like the teens who’ve lived it. The return is often more disorienting, emotional, and complex than anyone prepares you for.

Below are reflections and truths about that reality—shared by the ones who know it best.

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When I was in wilderness therapy, my group counted the days, looking toward the future with hope, anticipation, and eagerness. We saved the plastic ties from our weekly tortilla bags and clipped them to the brim of our sun hats to mark the passing weeks. We made lists of the meals we’d eat when we left, song recommendations to play when we had internet again.

We dreamed of going home. But none of us knew what it would really feel like to leave.

While I did love my time in wilderness therapy (and went to a therapeutic boarding school after), when I finally graduated, coming home was far more overwhelming and lonely than I ever could have imagined. And when I tried to explain the experience to others, I had to do all the “world-building” an author does when writing fantasy or sci-fi.

I tried to describe the isolation, the hardships, the levels system, the rules. The baring of the soul, the beauty in the simplicity, and the sheer magic, wonder, and otherworldliness of living in the woods for three months.

But no matter how I tried to explain it, my words couldn’t convey what I’d been through—because no one around me had lived it, or had the frame of reference to understand. That lack of shared experience only deepened my sense of separation, even as I tried desperately to rejoin the “world of clocks.”

Why We Started a Support Group

Over the years, I’ve spoken with hundreds of families—listening to their hopes, fears, and gratitude. I’ve heard what needs to change about the world of treatment—and what never should.

One truth keeps rising to the surface:
Coming home is difficult.

Not because the program didn’t work, or because the teen didn’t grow. But because reintegration is where the real challenge begins. Teens go from living in a structured, consistent environment, with a community that reinforces their growth, to walking the walk alone.

They return home full of insight, motivation, and hope… but unsure how to carry it into everyday life. They’re afraid of losing what they’ve gained. They feel isolated, because their peers don’t understand where they’ve been or who they’ve become.

After hearing about this unmet need for years, my dear friend Erica and I created a virtual support group for teen girls who’ve been in residential or wilderness treatment—some who just recently graduated, and others who are over a year into life post-treatment.

We just wrapped our first cohort—and it blew us away.

These girls were wise, honest, vulnerable, hilarious, and so thoughtful. They shared their stories, and offered reflections and hard-won truths about what it really feels like to return to “normal life” after a transformational experience.

Here’s a glimpse, in their own words.

Coming Home is a Different Kind of Hard

“It’s actually kind of stressful to come home.”

Treatment is full of challenges. The girls lived under strict rules, with limited freedom, far from everyone they knew. They witnessed each other’s breakdowns and breakthroughs. They felt homesick in ways they didn’t know were possible.

But while they were there, they were also shielded from the noise of everyday life—school stress, friend drama, family tension, the pressure of the future. No one was arguing about curfew, worrying about a party they weren’t invited to, or stressing over their college application. Life narrowed. And there was relief in the simplicity.

Coming home means facing all of that again. It’s like hitting fast-forward on everything that was paused—and it can be overwhelming.

The Confidence Built in Treatment Might Feel Fragile Now

"The confidence I felt seems like it doesn't mean anything now."

In treatment, teens learn real skills. They step into leadership roles, earn privileges, and discover new parts of themselves. It builds a sense of confidence and capability.

But when the girls came home, that confidence started to feel disconnected from the world around them. No one at home knew how much work it took to reach “air phase.” The identity built in treatment didn’t always transfer outside that world.

Still, what they carry with them matters. They may not need to tie a trucker’s hitch or do a specific chore from their program in everyday life—but it’s not about the task itself. It’s about what it took to learn it: the patience, the focus, the determination. Those qualities stay with them—and they can still show up in life, just in new ways.

The Same Challenges May Arise

“When I got home, the problems I escaped were waiting for me.”

It’s easy to think that going to treatment means the work is done. That after such an intense, life-changing experience, they should have come out the other side “healed.” But treatment isn’t the end of the story—it’s the start of a new chapter.

In our group, the girls talked about how discouraging it can feel to find themselves facing the same challenges: the same arguments with parents, the same temptations to numb, the same pull toward unhealthy relationships or habits.

And when that happens, it’s easy to ask: What was all of that for?

To shift this mindset, they had to let go of the expectation that healing is a straight line. It is a return to the familiar place where a teen left off, for sure. But it is a return with more tools, more insight and more strength.

In Some Ways, They Leapfrog Their Peers

“I feel so much more mature than everyone my age. It’s hard to relate.”

In some ways, treatment looks like a setback. But in many ways, it’s the opposite. In treatment, there’s a culture of honesty that can be confronting, but is also refreshing. These girls have done emotional heavy-lifting even some adults haven’t. They’ve built deep, honest connections. They’ve learned how to communicate, reflect, and grow.

So when they come home, they’ve changed—but no one else has. And that creates a deep hunger for authenticity. For connection that feels real.

They’re not alone in that longing, and that’s what our group offers.

The support group gave the girls a place to work through these feelings together—and to build something new. It ended with real connection: plans to visit each other for a concert, check-ins about goals, and friendships that don’t fade once the Zoom call ends.

The Post-Treatment Support Group is a 6-week virtual group for teen girls who’ve been in treatment. It’s a space to reconnect, reflect, and re-ground in the values they want to carry forward.

To learn more about the next cohort, visit this page, or reach out to welcome@hominginstinct.org to explore whether it might be a good fit for your child, a teen you know, or a client.